Is Majimboism the Answer to Kenya’s Political Problems

In the 1960s, US writer, Paul Theroux, described Kenya as a “querulous republic”, as simply an assortment of ethnic communities fiercely competing for control of the centre. Did he see something in us, something that we have been unable to see ourselves, or maybe we have just refused to accept?

I have argued in the past against secession, as pushed by David Ndii, and argued instead for autonomous regions like the Majimbo Constitution one that was supported by Masinde Muliro and Ronald Ngala.

We need to go back to something like the Majimbo Constitution of 1963, the short-lived quasi federal experiment that divided legislative and executive powers between the central government and seven regions. Not only did it seek to create a framework for a just distribution of political power, but it aimed to safeguard the interests of the smaller ethnic groups from marginalization and domination by larger ethnic groups.

At independence, the Kikuyu-Luo alliance was the threat to smaller ethnic groups, and Masinde Muliro argued that federalism would protect the interests of the Kalenjin, Baluhya, and the coastal tribes. The African Kenya Democratic Union (KADU) was founded to defend the interests of the smaller tribes, the so called KAMATUSA (Kalenjin, Maasai, Turkana, and Samburu) against the dominance of Kikuyus and Luos in KANU.

Masinde Muliro argued that majimboism was ideal because it provided for “free association” and prevented “imposed unity”.

The Kikuyu-Luo alliance didn’t last long, and has often reappeared with more promises in our short history, but today, the fear is Kikuyu-Kalenjin alliance and the problems foresaw in 1963 are everywhere for everybody to see.

One would think Masinde Muliro foresaw the “tyranny of numbers” ideology.

That is history for you. What you support vehemently today will whip your ass tomorrow. The super brilliant KANU Secretary General, and then Minister for Constitutional Affairs, Tom Mboya, taunted Masinde Muliro’s ideas as “an experiment that [was full of] unworkable and unfair provisions”.

In his book, Not Yet Uhuru, Jaramogi Odinga wrote “the [majimbo] constitution was based on artificially engendered fears, for it is obvious that the European settlers and the British Government helped KADU and accorded it an importance out of proportion to its popular support.”

If Jaramogi was alive today, would he call them “artificially engendered fears”? He added that the a majimbo system was too expensive, in terms of money and personnel, and that it prevented the growth of nationhood and retarded economic development. That it was too legalistic and cumbersome, literally requiring a battery of legal experts and clerks at the Centre and Regions to interpret the dos and the don’ts hidden in the myriad legally worded clauses if it was ever to work.

Ha. Ha. Yet it is the failure of majimbo that opened the door to and strengthened Kenyatta’s Kikuyu-dominated oligarchy, and and Mboya and Odinga were the first victims.

There is a paper, “Is Majimbo Federalism? Constitutional Debate in a Tribal Shark Tank” published by Willy Mutunga and Peter Kagwanja on May 20, 2001. By then, Willy Mutunga was the Executive Director of the Kenya Human Rights Commission. Mr. Kagwanja, a doctoral candidate, is a Programme Associate at the Commission. It has a good number of arguments against Majimboism.

The original Bomas drafts had this 1963 vision but the Kibaki government mutilated it and if you are not a child, you can probably remember the anti-Raila propaganda about his talks on Majimboism. You can remember the talks that Raila wanted people to obtain visas while traveling to Mombasa and Kisumu bla bla. The kila mtu atarudi kwao.

In the end, the consensus was a watered down document, that preserved some core parts of the status quo – devolution and the county governments. Still, I have always viewed the 47 counties as an attempt to go back to that lost vision, especially if you look at how the counties are regrouping into economic blocks.

This is what Kenya needs. I believe this is what we lost when Jomo Kenyatta began centralizing the state and killing those who disagreed with his idea of turning the nation-state into his Kingdom.

Maybe we need to reread Masinde Muliro and Ronald Ngala, put KANU aside and relook at KADU’s ideas.

Maybe all we need to accept is that we are “a querulous republic”, now that we have evidence in our 50+ post-independence period, something that the Mboyas and Odingas did not have (they believed too much in Kenyatta’s ‘honesty’), and maybe go back to where we began and start again, on the right path.

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Notes On the Secession Debates in Kenya

There is no need for secession, at least in Kenya now. Even if different regions were to secede, say, Kenya ends up divided into two, it would just be the start of a long disintegration process, where every region, loosely based on the semi-autonomous regions (provinces) at independence, will want to be a state. Even if Kikuyuland is joined with Kalenjinland in these debates, there is really no long term justification for the two groups to remain tied in the hip forever, even though they are dominating Kenya’s state infrastructure now. The same applies to the Luos and the other smaller or marginalized ethnic groups. Wandia Njoya also recently wrote a very important analysis of how our ‘tribe’ classifications have been fluid and have changed so much if you look at the classifications in the censuses in pre and post-colonial Kenya.

A recent example is the disintegration of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. From the 80s to the 90s, SFR Yugoslavia was engulfed in political crisis and inter-ethnic wars due to unresolved issues. In the end, a country that was made up of six republics drawn along ethnic and historical lines: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia and Slovenia. Add World War II to the mix, add Tito and Slobodan Milošević, add the revolutions of 1989 in Eastern Europe, and in 1990 you have the dissolution of the SFR Yugoslavia. From 1990, each of those regions went their separate ways. So from the SFR Yugoslavia which was created in 1943, the breakup which started in the 1990s, led to the independence of Croatia in 1991, Slovenia in 1991, Republic of Serbian Krajina tried between q991 to 1995 and ended up being part of Croatia, Republic of Macedona in 1991, Bosnia and Herzegovina 1995, etc etc. It is contestable whether they have become better states. Also look at the continuing disintegration of the USSR.

The constitution presents secession as a clean deal, signature on a paper, backed by an ideological understanding of self-determination, but in reality, it is a long and painful process, and the benefits are not always guaranteed, especially in Africa. Secession is not always a solution. In most cases, it is a consequence of the weak glues holding the constituent parts of a nation-state melting away. But even if its pursuit is fairly peaceful, say like the referendum for Scottish independence, we also have to look at the history of neighbouring states. In the process of disintegration, what will prevent Somalia from coming for the Northern Frontier District that Kenya stole from them? What will prevent Uganda from laying a stake on the western region of Kenya and the Rift Valley? How about Ethiopia grabbing Turkanaland? Afterall they have been eyeing it since forever. And in that process, Tanzania would simply carter away Kenya’s Coast region. You will find yourself seceding from Kenya only to end up in Uganda or Somalia. LOL.

It is for this reason that for a region to secede, in a volatile region such as ours, it must have a semblance of a standing army to protect itself, not only from the old cruel state it is breaking away from, but also the new neighbours who see it as small potatoes that can be whipped into the bellies with groundnut soup. The police and the army are the state’s tools for enacting the monopoly of violence, at home and abroad. I’m only seeing, say for example Luos throwing stones. I’m not seeing them having machine guns under their beds.

I have written here, a lot about the economic viability of small states, with the exception of a few. If I was to make decisions, Africa itself should have been say 10 huge federal republics, instead of 54+ countries. Populations and market sizes are important factors when looking at the economic viability of a state. Huge nation-states with huge populations, if managed well, become the strongest players in international relations. There is a correlation between population growth and urbanization, and a close correlation with economic development, this is because urban centres are melting pots for innovation and provide environments for increasing economies of scale, if managed well. Look at all the rich countries in the world. They are urban countries. This is why I always find it contradictory when population control, in sparsely populated Africa, is promoted. Just like in every region in the world, the biggest and powerful countries in Africa, will be those with huge populations hence huge markets. Imagine the wealth a company can generate selling nipple rings to 200 million Nigerians compared to 4 million Luos in Kenya.

The nature of the nation-state is also changing. We should be careful not to be stuck on Westphalian sovereignty or the nationalistic impulses of the 19th and 20th centuries. We are now in the age of state captures and corporatocracies and I want to go and live in Mars. Like I always say, even in the midst of political persecution, we should also try to outthink some of these entrenched models of imagining nation-states, , in addition to championing for increased autonomy of counties while killing imperial presidency by changing the structure of government so that a president is not elected through popular vote but through elected representatives from each county.

It is also important not add that the fact that different regions, have at one point entertained the idea, from the North Eastern, to the Coast, to Central at one point, to the loud ethnonationalism in Rift Valley at one time, and the seething sentiment in the Nyanza and Western regions for sometime now, shows that, while some tribes have been bloodied more than others in post-independent Kenya, the cause of this oppression and injustice, has not been tribal groups, but rather the elite group capturing the state, which for a long time has been the group Jomo Kenyatta created to leech the nation. So many people, including Uhuru Kenyatta, are beneficiaries of this system that continues to hold Kenya captive.

Once a while, one one tribe is played against another through propaganda for political expediency, and then state infrastructure is used to profile and persecute certain tribes. The tribes enjoying the privilege of safety at that point are programmed to celebrate the oppression of the other and given crumbs to feel a sense of belonging at the banquet table. Sometimes resources actually flow their way, and development, to psychologically manipulate them that conform and we give you tge cake, rebel and we withdraw the cake, making them perptual slaves to elite manipulation. This cheerleading the oppression of others is what we rage against. But at the root of this is class, and if people could be made to understand this, we’ll be talking about the need of revolution, an act where one class violently overthrows the other, and not secession, because what we need is an equal share at the table. I’m distrustful of Dr. Ndii pigeonholing NASA strongholds, now, with secession calls. If such calls, as I have seen are purely based on tribes, aka the Luo et al, getting their country, one wonders what Dr. Ndii hopes to gain, or he is now the saviour of the Luos (and other unconsulted communities bundled in Country B)?

We have serious historical injustices and political issues, but secession is not the magic bullet. I need more countries in Africa building bigger and stronger political and economic unions. 

“Nu Africa” – @OCTOPIZZO

Octopizzo Da’Illest has a new track out, “Nu Africa” off his upcoming 5th Studio Album. It is an aspirational track, laid-back and mature. Excellent production. Absolutely. The video concept is just too good and is beautifully executed. OCTOPIZZO’s music videos rarely disappoint.

“This is Africa Enterprise and we mean business”, “This is Nu Africa” is the rallying cry.

The track reminded me of Cyhi The Prynce’s (ft. Ernestine Johnson) track with the same name “Nu Africa” – which is a Black-American’s imagination of what would happen if Black-Americans stormed the motherland.

A wonderful production which imagines how American hip hop artists would transform the face of the continent, if they decided to escape the lack of fulfilment in America. It toys with Khaled building a neighbourhood in Tanzania, Jay and Bey buying land in Egypt, Puffy opening a stripper club off the sands of Kenya, Akon lighting the cities, Oprah opening up more schools, Michael Jordan bringing more shoes, going to Utopian Ethiopia for the beautiful women… and Obama becoming the President. It mentions up to 24 countries, bellying with the nostalgia and angst of the black man, and emptiness caused by loss of identity, something that is brought forth forcefully by Ernestine Johnson’s spoken word infusion.

I was expecting a similarly expansive capturing of “Africa” in Octopizzo’s track, albeit from an African’s perspective, but there is little apart from the title and en passant mentions.

The Africa in the track is “Kenya”. Also considering the huge and serious subject matter the track promises, it has too many of Octo’s rhyme book fillers (1.45 – 2.22, 3.20-4.00) that would have given space to better content, however, the hook maintains the soulful Africa feel, and the little speech at the end saves it from superfluousness, and refocuses it to the original vision of Nu Africa.

There’s this track, “Last Shot” ft Danton & M Lay on the war and refugee crisis in Sudan that had almost none of such filler rhymes, though the video production was basic and it was definitely produced to be a club banger.

Great ambition Octopizzo. Keep repackaging yourself. It is becoming better. The album will definitely be a chart topper.

Stop the Violence – “Gaza” by @Khaligraph Jones

Khaligraph Jones, aka Brian Ouko Omollo, aka Ndugu Omollo is arguably the best hip hop artist in Kenya today, pulping every rival to mashed potatoes, but it is only recently that he is beginning to find his strength, and is slowly climbing the steps to his rightful place.

He used to be the best rapper, a battling firespitter, a thousand rhymes per minute, he still is, but that is technique and nothing else, it is only now that he is becoming the hip hop artist, an enviable storyteller, and you don’t have to look far to see.

It has been said before that the mark of a good rapper is the ability to string words together into captivating rhymes, but the mark of a great one is the ability to weave those rhymes into stunning narratives that grip and maintain the listener’s attention through the end of the song. The best hip hop artist is the best storyteller. All legendary hip hop artists are legendary storyteller.

Khaligraph’s versatility is allowing him to walk up those stairs. Chali ya Ghetto was dope, Gaza, targeting Nairobi’s notorious criminal gang – Gaza, released from his Blu Ink Corp, is more. Most rappers would just rage against the beat to pass over a message of “stop the gang violence”, but Khali uses juxtaposition.

The song is a dialogue between two people – a living gang member and a deceased one, with the threat of Hessy – Nairobi’s super cop, in the middle. The living gang member, as most are wont to be, is steeped in anger, crime and violence, spewing threats at Hessy for cutting down the gang friend, and vowing revenge.

But the dead know better. And in slow, introspective storytelling, the dead gang member feeds him with a sober, down-to-earth advice to get off that nonsense ama akule copper. Form ni kureform as Virusi Mbaya Kibera would say.

Great song and great production! This is international. Good job ndugu Omollo.

Stories of African Resistance: The Battle of Adwa

The year is 1896.

Europe has decided to slice up Africa into cakes. Italy says it will eat the Ethiopian Empire. It starts to, encroach, south of their colony in Eritrea on the Red Sea.

Seven years earlier, in 1889, the Kingdom of Italy has signed a friendship treaty, the Treaty of Wichale, with the Empire of Ethiopia. The basic idea was that Italy and Ethiopia would respect each other and none would try to scratch the other’s ass. But then differences began to emerge on the nature of “friendship”.

According to Italy, the Italian version of Article 17 of the treaty clearly stated that Ethiopia would be a protectorate of Italy, that the Emperor of Ethiopia was obliged to conduct all foreign affairs through Italian authorities. Emperor Menelik II tells Italy that what is in his Amharic copy of the treaty is that the Emperor could use the good offices of the Kingdom of Italy to conduct relations with foreign nations if he wishes. Italy accuses the Emperor of editing his Amharic version. That it is a “mistranslation” from the Italian original. Emperor says that his document is the original position. Italy decides to pursue a military solution to force the Ethiopian Empire to abide by the Italian reading of the Treaty of Wichale.

They begin by occupying the northern Ethiopian city of Adigrat. The year is 1895.

Emperor Menelik II is, naturally, pissed off. Bigtime. He doesn’t attack immediately. He waits for a whole year, towards the end of 1896. While Italy glories in the success of their initial occupation, he uses a 4 million lire loan he had borrowed from Italy earlier to import better weapons. He then calls the population of Ethiopia to arms and begins to lead a massive military force of 100,000 men northward towards Italian occupied territories. The Italian forces are mercilessly defeated at the battle of Amba Alage.

In response, Rome ferries more troops to Eritrea. 17,978 troops, with 56 artillery pieces, under Commander General Oreste Boratieri. And the artillery! Right Column: (3,800 rifles / 18 cannons), Central Column: (2,493 rifles / 12 cannons), Left Column: (4,076 rifles / 14 cannons), and Reserve Column: (4,150 rifles /12 cannons).

The Ethiopians are not leaving anything to chance! These are their forces: Shewa forces – 25,000 rifles / 3,000 horses / 32 guns; Semien forces – 3,000 rifles / 600 horses / 4 guns; Gojjam forces – 5,000 rifles; Harar forces – 15,000 rifles; Tigray and Hamasen forces – 12,000 rifles / 6 guns; Wollo-Galla forces – 6,000 rifles / 5,000 horses; Forces of the Fit’awrari Mangascià Atikim – 6,000 rifles; Forces of Ras Oliè and others – 8,000 rifles; and additional thousands of spearmen and swordsmen.

The Emperor’s strategy is to overextend the Italians to fight on his terms. He threatens to outflank them, maneuvers them into a position that leaves their supply lines exposed. General Oreste Boratieri knows that battling Menelik’s troops in the open field is suicidal. He has been outmaneuvered. He believes the best strategy is to retreat, but some of his officers resist retreat, arguing that they have reports that Menelik’s army is demoralized and depleted. The Italians advance an army of more than 15,000 under the cover of night to create strong defensive positions and possibly scare the Ethiopians into retreat. By dawn, the next day, most of the Italian army have secured their positions.

The day is February 29th 1896.

The Emperor is just beginning his morning prayers for divine guidance when the spies from Ras Alula, his chief military advisor, run in. The Italian forces are advancing! The Emperor, Empress Taytu by his side, summons all the separate armies and orders them to advance. There is Negus Tekle Haymond commanding the right column, Ras Alula the left column, Ras Makonnen and Ras Mengesha on the centre, and Rask Mikael at the head of the cavalry. Emperor Menelik remains with the reserve battalion. The Ethiopian forces position themselves on the hills overlooking Adwa valley, 52 mounted guns, trained on would-be-approaching Italians on the valley.

At 6.AM on the morning of March 1, the first Italian brigade – Albertone’s Askari Brigade – arrives at Adwa valley. Albertone’s brigade holds position for 2 hours in a heavy battle. In the end Albertone is captured. The second brigade, led by Arimondi, battle it out with Ethiopians for 3 hours, almost annihilating the Ethiopians, only for Emperor Menelik II to release 25,000 troops from the reserves. Italians are cut down and swamped. Menelik’s forces, pursue and destroy two brigades led by Boratieri on the slopes of Mount Belah. The last Italian brigade is quickly extinguished by Gojjam forces under the command of Tekle Haymonot, as Emperor Menelik watched.

That day, by noon, the Battle of Adwa was over.

7000 Italians were dead, 1500 wounded, and 3000 taken prisoner.
The scope and scale of this victory was so extensive that Menelik’s campaign covered more miles than Napoleon’s advance in Russia. It was so devastating that no other European power attempted to colonize Ethiopia.

Sources: The Battle of Adwa: African Victory in the Age of Empire; The Battle of Adwa ; The Battle of Adwa and many more

….

This short, basic, write-up is inspired by Too Early For Birds, which poses a rather simple question: What if we could turn our stories into living, breathing performances?

That is exactly what the team behind Too Early For Birds hopes to achieve.

The team behind #TooEarlyForBirds which is includes some of the finest performance artists in the country – led by Abu Sense and Ngartia, has gone back into the timeline of Kenya seeking out moments that built who we are as a people. The result is stories of sweat, blood and sheer courage. Raging from resistance against the British colonialists to standing against cold-blooded dictators. Most of which were never taught in school. They are stories that inspire awe, terror and admiration. They are inspired by and based on research done by Morris Kiruga. He is a researcher and writer dedicated to chronicling Kenyan history in a Kenyan perspective.

Are you ready for the experience on Wednesday, 17th May 2017, from 06:00 PM – 11:00 PM, at the Kenya National Theatre, Nairobi-Kenya?

Get a Ticket on TicketSasa

The Chronology of Ugali Politics & Profits in Kenya

One: Create artificial scarcity of maize via mismanagement of national maize stocks at National Cereals and Produce Board (NCPB). “Auditor General’s report on the Ministry of Agriculture for 2014/2015 says about one million bags of maize went to waste following NCPB’s laxity in tackling an insect attack.” 1 million bags. Insect attack. Weevils.

Two: Worsen scarcity by nurturing greedy cartels who wipe off maize from the hands of farmers at X shillings and sell it to commercial millers at 3X.

Three: Steal the hundreds of billions you set aside for legacy agricultural programmes aka one million-acre Galana-Kulalu Irrigation Scheme, and others.

Four: Three months earlier, remove all taxes on maize and wheat importation – “In order to make these commodities affordable for the common mwananchi, I propose to zero-rate bread and maize flour to remove VAT altogether.” Smile as Kenyans celebrate expecting a reduction in the price of maize flour…. ”

Five: Feign shock that prices did not drop even after cutting the taxes. Pretend to be helpless as citizens suffer from abnormally high prices of maize flour.

Six: Close yourself in a room with a drink and laugh your ass off as supermarket shelves empty and families go without proper meals because their staple food is out of reach.

Seven: Organize a press conference and smile your way through it explaining to Kenyans the cause of the scarcity and high costs of basic goods. Don’t forget to blame the high prices on climate change and global warming. You can even blame farmers.

Eight: Pretend to be asking the Parliament to do something about it, but even before they discuss it …

Nine: out of nowhere, a huge cargo ship docks at Mombasa Port with 30,000 tonnes of maize. Promise Kenyans that another ship is in the high seas with thousands of tonnes of maize. But who is importing? Who is this faceless saviour?

Ten: Go to church on Sunday and thank God for the huge profitability of Ugali politics.

And that my friend is the chronology of ugali politics, re-acted yet another time.

Khaligraph Jones – Call me di bleacher

A few days ago, Khaligraph appeared on NTV’s weekly show, The Trend, looking dapper and a little lighter skinned than usual, and his explanation was just ludicrous:

“Right now I am living a different life compared to the life I used to live. You know I am drinking clean water, I am driving my own cars, and I am not walking in the sun getting burned. My shawty introduced me to this thing when you go to the salon they scrub your face”

The streets started talking. Here was a chink in his armour. It was only a matter of time before other rappers ran to their social media profiles to fire the shots. Most were low level fire, most anti-fans, thousands of chiding Facebook comments. Octopizzo was the loudest of these voices, calling him ndugu Omollo out and inviting him for a talk on self-esteem when he jets back in America. Black Lives Matter. It was expected. He had given his contemporaries a free pass. He was going to be roasted if he didn’t bury the allegations in a big way. So he began by throwing a blame on NTV studio lighting, accompanied by new images of an un-bleached Khaligraph on Facebook.

Away from the general arguments against bleaching, hip hop has a special hell for artists who try to challenge “black pride”, “black is beautiful” norm. Allegations of bleaching, worse still for a hip hop artist, can completely destroy their career. To avoid any form of feminization, rap artists have always, almost en masse, embraced hypermasculinity – exaggerated male stereotypical behavior that emphasizes physical strength, aggression and sexuality. The result is that rappers, almost unconsciously, go for images, lyrics, and music that are manifestly violent and misogynist.

In the documentary film, Beyond Beats and Rhymes, Byron Hurt explains that in hip hop you have to fit into a metaphorical box to be considered masculine; “you have to be strong, tough, have a lot of girls, you have to have money, be a playa or pimp, be in control, dominate other men, other people.” These are the behaviours hip hop considers masculine, authentic, and those who deviate lose the street cred, “people call you soft or weak, pussy, chump, faggot” so everybody tries to remain in the metaphorical box. Weakness is associated with femaleness and homosexuality. It is deeply entrenched that even female rappers have to adopt the toughness of hypermasculinity.

To borrow Leonard Glass analysis of the contractions in hypermasculinity: the hypermasculine must be a “man’s man” – strong, dependable, rough, rigid, unemotional, dirty, mystified by women, but he must at the same time be a “ladies man” – smooth, stylish, sly, seductive, sexually predatory, knowledgeable about women, and emotionally counterfeit. This toxic masculinity is what gets a hip hop artist money because toxic black masculinity has been commodified.

Artists, who do not want to be cocooned in this hypermasculine box must find other ways to remain legit, but they must not, at all times, challenge blackness/maleness, their manhood must never be in question. Everyone tries not to be a bitch nigga. That is where Khaligraph Jones comes in.

I imagine him trying to figure out the options available for him. How to beat down the critics and pulp the small potatoes on the timelines. Rap music isn’t always simple. Or literal. One has to think fast, and well, or end up bazookaing oneself on the foot. So when I woke up to Khaligraph Jones Toa Tint (Mask Off) – a rebuttal of bleaching allegations, I was more than interested in the how, the style he has used to cut everything back to normal, and I was more than impressed.

Self-deprecation is an old and useful style in hip hop. The very use of the N-word by black artists, if we are now to be more politically correct, is a self-deprecation. I have written about it before here, on reclaiming of words to serve a purpose other than the one initially intended.

Rappers, in the past, have from time to time deserted the high table of hypermasculinity for the crumbs on the masculine  floor, in the sense of accepting that which is deemed undesirable and unacceptable within the culture, or turning it on it’s head by laughing at oneself, making oneself the butt of a joke through self-deprecating humour. Take for example, Skee-Lo’s “I Wish” (1995) and how it deals with the inability to measure up to the “ladies man” in hypermasculinity. Fatlip’s “Whats Up Fat Lip? (2005) comes to mind, in his openness about his inadequacy. Among the biggest rappers, perhaps Nas- Drunk by Myself (2002) comes to mind. They are many.

The master of self-deprecation is Eminem. He has used it over and over again. We can go back in time, to one of the most self-deprecating verses ever, in 8 Mile – Eminem Freestyle, the Final Battle vs Papa Doc. Eminem goes like:

This guy ain’t no motherfucking MC,
I know everything he’s got to say against me,
I am white, I am a fucking bum,
I do live in a trailer with my mom,
My boy Future is an Uncle Tom.
I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob
Who shoots himself in his leg with his own gun,
I did get jumped by all 6 of you chumps
And Wink did fuck my girl,
I’m still standing here screaming, “Fuck the free world!”
Don’t ever try to judge me, dude
You don’t know what the fuck I’ve been through

I’m a piece of fucking white trash, I say it proudly
And fuck this battle, I don’t wanna win, I’m outty,
Here, tell these people something they don’t know about me.

How do you get back at someone who has completely deracinated themselves? Who has presented themselves before you as worthless? Even if you did, the disses would not be half as effective. This is what Khaligraph has done. He has collected all the disses and ridicules from the interwebs, exaggerated them and mashed them into a track. Nimebleach hadi ngoma natoa… /nimebleach hadi cladi navaa // hata naweza change sex na bado hamwezi nichallenge…// nimebleach hadi haga, nimebleach hadi balls..//  Lol! He has made himself the butt of a joke, the ridicule, the chiding. And because he did it before any rapper in Kenya threw one on You Tube, he has killed the hopes of any other rapper sweating in the trenches, penning a diss worth a beat. He wins. Again.

On the look out for Kenyan hip hop artists who have used this style before.

He is more like Drake becoming the meme, singing his way through hip hop’s manly obsession, challenging hip hop’s black machismo, and having a good laugh while at it. Or like Lil B.

I’m waiting to see how many will meme “Toa Tint (Mask Off)”, but like Drake, the ultimate outcome of all this will be in Khali’s favour.